My name is Jen Marie and this is the story of my life.

My name is Jen Marie and this is the story of my life.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Judgment Day

I came on this earth alone
When I die, I'll die alone
On judgment day, I'll be judged alone
So now everything I do
I do it on my own
Cuz I know you won't be here when I need you the most
Sometimes I wish I never knew you
So I won't have to think about the thought of ever losing you
So now when I pray
I pray death comes to me before it ever thinks of going your way
You said you'll always be here to stay
But you don't have the upper hand in this game
I can't think of breathing without you
So I have to be six feet under the ground before you
You never understood why I told you to behave
So when we both die I know were going to the same place
You said you loved me from the start
And you'll love me till death do us part
But there is a life after death
so our love needs no ending mark
I need you to love me even when your heart stops
Even though were no longer together
In this life of sin
Love always wins
I cherish memories
But that doesn't give you the right to perish before me
We all make mistakes
So I'll let you go through with this phase
But don't disappear on me
Cuz that won't be fair to me
When judgment day comes I'll never use u for any excuses
for the mistakes i made along the way
And if they ask me why
I'll simply say because I love him
I can not move worth without him
So you leaving me on earth without him
Brought insanity to my reality
So I brought death to me
If that means me going to hell
its okay
Cuz I feel no type of pain unless he says he never loved me the same way
But our love was faith
So on judgment day
heaven is where we'll lay.


Thursday, February 18, 2010


I've fallen in love back to back
I'm over you
cause I've found someone new
Thought I'd sit here and obsess over you?
While you were out doing you
Showing love and affection to your boo
Fuck outta here
You were easy to replace
Up to the next stage
While your still in the same lane
I've found real love
No pretend
Living with no regrets
My boo.
Treats me better than you
Than you
Loves me more than you'll every do
Someone I'd been looking for all my life
Didn't need to put up a fight
They were always there
But not in plain sight
I've found my new love
Its so real
We hardly argue
Our love was built out of honesty and trust
Like my other half
My better half
The missing piece
The buried treasure
My heart was once broken
But its been sworn together
Sworned love forever
My soul is complete
What we had can't compete
They say nothing last forever
but I found someone who said they'll be here
tell wateva
I've found someone new
No longer am I loving you
For you
I'm loving myself
With no one but myself
all along that's the only person I've eva needed
I found my love
Its been a long journey
But at the end of the day
Call me selfish
I'm loving myself and no one else.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010


You ripped right through me like a baby out of her mother's wound
But you see our love was premature
It happened to soon
So when it died
It wasn't really fully developed
But I miss it
Like any mother would
to a child she gave birth
We was connected like an umbilical cord
Even when cut
A part of me was still left in you
there was a bond between the two
How does a mother bury her own child
how does a lover
watch her only love
love someone else
it hurts
it hits you like a slam dunk from Shaquille O'Neal
its painful
its just so surreal
its like the pain while giving birth
it leaves scars on your thoughts
like the scars left from a sea section
there so anti-depression for this
our love will seed nothing but the truth
will produce the epitome of perfection from me and you
your inside of me
like the blood going through my vines
like an egg through fallopian tubes
birth is slowly being produced
i depict our love
as a scenery of a mother giving birth
even though the site of you takes my breath away
your love had me look at life a different way
the phases of our love
was like the labor of a mother
although it was painful
it was always stated no great love ever came with out great struggle
you brought me life
life of memories I'll treasure till the death of me
moments i hope never perish so they can live beyond me
even though your no longer beside me
I want to see you happy even if its not with me
You gave me something no one has ever given to me
You gave me life
while i was breathing
but it wasn't a seed
it was something only my heart could see.


Monday, February 15, 2010

Love's Fool

I broke so many rules for you
Now your love has me crippled
Looking like a fool
I let you in with no protection
I tried new things to show my affection
to keep your attention
Not to say I regret it
but I just don't get it
Where did we go wrong?
Why did you just let me fall?
Why did you watch as I drowned?
Where did we go wrong in this thing called love?
I was falling for you
Slowly drowning in you
While you were out doing you
I was told that when I fall
I'd fall deep
who would of know your love was so steep
Out of reach
This must be love at its highest peek.
everyone's trying to bring me to ground level
but I'm up in the clouds
would of thought i was on some drug
the way i smile
and in microseconds
i frown
mood swings
my heart sings
but i know its really crying
Cuz it knows its slowing dying
but a the end love wins
it had me committing sins
there's no worse death
than death in slowly slow motion
your like summer time
the wind tides
like cool breeze by the ocean side
we met in the summer time
we weren't ready for winter
so when the breezy air hit us
we slowly died.
there's no Us
just u and I
was there really ever Us
or was this all a lie.
I question our actuality
as i bring myself back to reality.
Where do we go wrong in this thing called love?
I question myself
as if i don't know the answer to our mistakes
I fell a little to deep
but you didn't catch me
you watched me fall
on bended knees.
so now you come and go as you please....


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentines Day






Like Wats Up??

When you speak I feel like your insulting my intelligence
When you breathe I feel like your taking in a part of me
As much as I hate you
I can't get enough of you
I'd be dramatic if I said my life revolved around you
I'd be pathetic if I said all I do is think of you
Sadly to say
I guess I'm dramatic
I guess I'm pathetic
Cuz every sec
in every day
I'm Devoured in you
For you
Why do I still crave for you
While your living it up with your new boo
While I'm dreaming about you
Your dreaming about her
While I'm reminiscing
Your out making history
While she's wifey
I can only be your mistress
I'm not the bitch you dream to be with
So when you speak to me I feel like smacking you real quick
Snuffing and fucking you up
And that's real shit
You say I care for you
So why the fuck aren't you here with me
Why do you sleep and stay in between her knees
Why when I ask you questions about the way you feel
You wanna leave
You tell me am jumping to conclusions and its not the way am making it
So speak the fuck up and tell me what it is that you mean
My heart is not to be toyed with
I'll leave you crippled on the floor sick
And then I'd apologize
Call me a delinquent
But your love has my heart doing flips
Stop playing with my emotions
I don't like these games and tricks
I love you
But I don't mind fucking the shit out of you
Cuz I love myself more than I'll ever love you
And I'm not even gonna knock the other chick
Cuz I'm a real bitch
I just want you to tell me what it really is.


Saturday, February 13, 2010


I'm sorry I think you have the wrong door
The wrong floor
LOVE doesn't live here anymore
She moved two floors down with PAIN
In her eyes there both the same.
I kicked LOVE out
Cuz every time she came
So did PAIN
Which caused me to become insane and my heart to slowly decay

But you need LOVE
Without love your life is governed with hate
Sometimes you need pain to understand the depth of joy
Take love back
Through experience you'll find loves match

LOVE and I will never be what we once were
She betrayed me
She let me love sum1 and not be loved in return
Laughed at my mistakes
Left me bitter and ashamed

How do you plan to find your soul mate
If you won't
Open up
Go out
And date
Its OK to make mistakes
Just learn
And approach a different way

I despise LOVE
For everything she is
For everything I thought she was
When you see her
Tell her I placed a restraining order on her
So she better not come ever knocking at me door.
Its over and am sorry
I don't love
LOVE anymore.


Friday, February 12, 2010

Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
I don't know
I can't see inside my interior parts
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
Razor blades of slit wrist
Black eyes
From your own fist
The exterior pain
wounds to see
Cause sometimes they just don't believe
"My heart is broken"
But they don't see
But look
You can see my pain on my sleeves
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
Pain thrown at you
Like salt on an open cut
In winter there saying I love you
Spring cleaning comes along
And your gone like dust
What happened to our love?
Or were those words to gain my trust
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
You wouldn't know what to do
You'd be stuck
And confused
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
The feeling of numbness will slowly consume
They say time heals
But looking at my wrist
They'll always be those marks
A remembrance of pain
That life can not explain
So it uses time to make up for its mistakes
But it can never erase the memories
Enfaced in my membrane
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
Happiness and pain all looks the same
reality and sanity are hard to maintain
tears pour from your eyes to emulate your pain from years
Blood leaking from your wrist leaves you absent from your fears
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
shielded by needles and stitches
consist glitches
if our souls were to switch
you'd already be 6ft in a ditch
unable to sustain
the pain i obtain
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
life is like a series of malfunctions
bodily destruction
slowly giving up
to let loose of everything
you force yourself to throw up
Have you ever tried sleeping with open wounds?
cause if you did
you'd be living everyday in my shoe.


Thursday, February 11, 2010


My heart is pacing
My mind is racing
My love is chasing
Love in the making
Journey worth taking
Bad habits worth breaking
Promises, I'm keeping
Dreams slowly creating
Fantasies out playing
Happiness forever lasting
Hearts competing
Fate believing
Eyes no longer deceiving
Souls communicating
Fate deliberating
Pain evaporating
Trust never escaping
Real, Never faking
You, never leaving
Me, always staying
Us never ending
Forever just another beginning.


I'm on a Mission

I'm on a mission
To find a love
That holds
no boundaries
No conditions
That needs no permission
That'll succeed and conquer in every division
I'm on a mission
To find a love that's authentic
Traced back to its descendants
A love that can not be duplicated or replenished
Once dead it'll be diminished
I'm on a mission
To find a love that cures
That doesn't leave my heart bitter and sore
Never leaves me to morn
That'll never have me broken and torn
I'm on a mission
To find a love that's odd
Has the death hearing sounds
Has the blind seeing things
Has the retarded being the smartest
I'm on a mission
To find a love so true
It'll have to be abolished
had me doing things demonic
It made wrong feel good
I'm on mission
To find a love that conquers all
Breaks every law
Maybe the shortest but still stands tall
I'm on a mission to find love
And that's all.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Stop Jumping to Conclusions

Poem to Myself

Stop jumping to conclusions
Corrupting your mind with false illusions
Causing you to see unrealistic delusions
Stop jumping to conclusions
All your causing is more confusion
Give him a break
He's young
And has a lot on his plate
Don't force anything on him
Love takes time
It happens on its own pace
Even if it means you taken two steps back
And given him his own space
Stop jumping to conclusions
Its creating an intense pollution
Filled to assumptions
And wrong decisions
Stop jumping to conclusions
Your pushing him away
Its only so much he can take
your heart is up for stake
So make sure with every act
Your making the right play
Stop jumping to conclusions
That's what he said
So take that into consideration
Or this could be the end of yall relations
So on that notation
Understand that this is team work
And not dictation
Stop jumping to conclusions
Let go of a females intuition
Listen to your hearts correlation
You don't want to be stuck in a
love sucks
Fuck love
Stop jumping to conclusions
Who are you fooling?
Your hurting
Your the only one losing.......


Monday, February 8, 2010

There's been an earthquake.

Dedication to Haiti.


There's been an earthquake
family and love ones life's taken
My heart has been awaken
My mind races
Flipping through newspapers
Seeing death in children faces
I'm not Haitian
But I feel their pain
as if we're in the same nation
There's been an earthquake
I know in America
We're stressing
Living through a recession
But if that's the case
Haiti is going through the great depression
Mixed with Aggression,
with no chance of redemption
There's been an earthquake
We live in a materialistic nation
Which leaves us delirious to the actions that can be taken
Just because your not Haitian doesn't mean you can't give a donation
A little bit of money goes a long way
And Louis Vuitton
doesn't need your money today
There's been an earthquake
but there's no one to blame
i question human nature
but i feel am questioning my creator
so i just pray
for everyone who ever lost someone
for every neglected child
for every story untold
for every one who just needs someone to hold.
There's been a earthquake
Doesn't that make your body shake?
Your heart ache?
The thought of people lives flashing away
As if life and death are in a race
And life can't keep a steady pace
They always said slow and steady wins the race
But this is not a game
Lives are being depleted
While justice will never be completed
There's been an earthquake
I just stop and stare at my screen
My eyes just cant believe
My thoughts just can't conceive
the imagery my eyes have just seen
Hearts left to bleed
Bodies left to seize
Mouths left to feed
but there's nothing there to eat
The country of Haiti left in defeat.
There's been an earthquake
And if my life had a price on it
That's how much I'd donate.


Thursday, February 4, 2010


I reach out for your touch
But its like a lost child reaching our for love
Like mute trying to speak
Like death trying to breathe
There's no hope for me
Your living two different lives
One in deceit
Seeded by false believes
Hidden behind direct messages and text messages
You will never degrade me
To a skank
A whore
Just something on the side
Because you never really wanted me by your side
I can never subject myself to being...
That girl
That's good enough to sleep with
But not good enough to be with
Whose day job is daydreaming
About her night job
You hide me behind closed doors
As if am not good enough for the world to see,
Am I not pretty enough to showcase
Bright enough to display
No one knows you call me baby
No one knows we share memories
No one knows
When your not tweeting, your all wrapped up in me
But you know
If everything shattered
I'd be the one picking up the broken pieces
If everything was burning
I'd be the one putting out the fire
I just don't know why its not OK for you to just love me
I'm like
An abandoned child
The reason daddy never stayed around
A mistake
the reason why mother never cared in the first place
You hide me behind tinted windows
As if I'm a disgrace
As if I ever caused you pain
When we're together you never tweet
So no one knows your with me
I'm not foolish
I'm not blind
I'm not deaf
I hear
And understand
You knew I'd never leave
You've cultivated my heart, body, and soul
But took advantage of me
I'm tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve
Am over it
everything I thought we could be
this Is our last chapter
No happy ending after
Yet I loved every minute of this beauty disaster
But at the end of the day
I know
it was never really about me..

Why did I think anything would change............ Cocobforchanel


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Fuck me with your words.

Fuck me with your words
Cause that's the only way you can make me cum and scream
Take off your clothes,
filled with shame and bitter lies
Our love has nothing to hide
So cum inside of me
let loose all your broken promises and dreams
But when am dripping I need to know you'll be there to catch me!
Get down on your knees and use your tongue that communicates beautiful
music to me
Fuck me with your words
Of nothing but honesty and truth and with every stroke
I want you to scream I love you
While am throwing it back
Am trying to see if you'll always have my back
Love is a battlefield you always have to be ready to attack
Just shove it in my mouth cause u know my mind won't let me speak those
You utter and scream
Fuck me with your words
Give me rough sex
I don't do the child like phone sex
But when your ready to ejaculate
Let loose
On my chest
To the left
Where my heart is
Where our love is
Pour out all your problems and insecurities you've been scarred with
Fuck me with your words
Wen your on top I'll let u take a rest
I'll show you why they say team work
Works best
you gotta work your way from the bottom to get to the top
I know you like it wet
I'll spit on it!
Cause I got a couple of words to get off my chest
Fuck me with your words
no need for protection
my heart is open
i fear no rejection
teach me new tricks
lets take our love in another direction
you want me
i see it in your eyes
another erection
Fuck me with your words
as u twist and turn me in different positions
our bodies collide
this must be the best collision
its not the time to be holding discussion
or making decisions
But Fuck me with your words
so I can replay it in my mind
And feel you sexing me every time.